Kitchen Connections
Dishes are anything but a chore for South Florida couples who enjoy cooking together.
 By Julie O’Hara

Whoever said that the kitchen is no place for a man – or any of the other antiquated sayings about cooking and the sexes – never received a coveted invitation to the Fort Lauderdale home of Ron Perkins and Karen Unger.

At least once a month, the couple, celebrating 25 years of marriage, hosts a sit-down dinner party for up to 12 guests. Perkins handles the lion’s share of the cooking duties, with Unger serving as his assistant – but he proudly passes the chef’s hat to his wife when it comes to baked goods. Unger praises her husband’s talent for stylishly plating dishes, and Perkins returns the compliment regarding his wife’s creative table designs.

Neither, however, admits to being perfect. “You know the TV show, ‘Monk?’” says Unger, who owns American Document Management (her husband is the chief financial officer). “Well, he’s Ron ‘Monk’ Perkins when it comes to cooking,” she says, referring to the character’s obsessive tendency toward neatness.

The two agree that having a sense of humor in the kitchen, along with the ability to think on your feet, is critical. Late in the preparation for one dinner party, Perkins was processing cheese, sun-dried tomatoes and herbs in his 20-year-old Cuisinart for the first course – torta salata di ricotta (a baked ricotta pie with prosciutto).

“The Cuisinart died, and you have to have a food processor for this recipe,” Perkins says. “The guests were coming in one hour, so I went to Walgreens and bought a food processor for $12. It got the dish made. And then it died too.”

Such culinary adventures, meanwhile, are having the opposite effect on relationships, especially here in South Florida. More than ever, couples like Perkins and Unger are creating something more than evening fare in the kitchen – they’re also making memories and strengthening bonds.

According to Naomi Berger, a marriage and family therapist in Boca Raton and clinical director of the Counseling Center at Florida Atlantic University, the kitchen is an ideal place for a couple to flex the muscles of their relationship.

“You’re talking leisurely, you’re cooking, maybe you’re nibbling on the food while you’re cooking,” Berger says. “You are satisfying your stomach while at the same time engaging in the relationship. … Your sense of smell, of touch – all your senses are involved. People can joke and be playful with each other in the kitchen.”

Chef Jean-Pierre Brehier, who runs an eponymous cooking school in Fort Lauderdale, says that more than half of his 15,000 students have attended classes with their partner, which he sees as a growing trend in South Florida.

“People find themselves staying home more often and discovering the hobby of cooking,” says Brehier , who ran The Left Bank restaurant in Fort Lauderdale for many years before opening his cooking school.

Lenore Nolan-Ryan, chef and proprietress of Lenore Nolan-Ryan Cooking School and Catering Company in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, agrees. “With the Food Network, all the magazines and all the great restaurants, food and cooking have become so much more accessible that people aren’t fearful of it,” she says. “Especially in a household with both people working, they realize they have a shared responsibility – and that is eating.”

Morgan and Oliver Green, Boca Raton newlyweds in their mid-20s, have made sharing that responsibility one of their top priorities. Although their crazy schedules demand a bit of advance planning – she’s a public relations coordinator at the Boca Raton Resort & club; he’s an investor – cooking dinner together is an appointment they do not like to miss.

“We try to cook Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday,” Morgan says. “We plan meals on Sunday and get most of our ingredients. I work long hours, and Oliver works hard, [so] it’s just nice to be able to do something together.”

The Greens, who avoid processed food, make sure that the creations coming out of their kitchen are as nutritious as they are delicious. “Cooking doesn’t have to be complicated,” Oliver says. “We like turkey burgers on wheat buns, salad and corn on the cob. Simple and healthy!”

Morgan’s favorite recipe source is the James Beard Award-winning cookbook, Savor the Moment, created by the Junior League of Boca Raton (she even served as co-chair of last year’s cookbook committee), but the Greens are likely to tweak many favorite recipes to make them even lower in fat.

More often than not, the personal touch only adds to the creation – but Morgan admits that some experiments have worked better than others.

“For a month or so, I was on a homemade soup kick,” she says. “I was inspired after [they traveled] to Florence, where we had the most amazing soups. [One night], I made rice and tomato soup. Because we try and cut out anything white in our diet, I substituted whole-grain rice for the white rice.

“We learned the hard way that whole-grain rice cooks much slower than white. We ended up with a delicious tomato soup that we couldn’t eat because of the rock-hard rice. It was as if we had put metal bits into it. That night we ordered a pizza.”

As Perkins and Unger demonstrate each month, occasionally raising the stakes also can be healthy for the relationship. When a couple throws a great dinner party, it can serve as an “aha moment,” showing them what they can do as a team.

“If we feel like we’re having a good time working together, it can build confidence that we have a good relationship,” Berger says. “It’s like a nice dance – delegating responsibility and having a mutually agreed-upon goal that is pleasurable.”

However, even longtime dance partners need time – and patience – to find their footing in kitchen.

The first time Sue Jobes made eggs Benedict for husband, Bob, she had trouble with the hollandaise sauce. “Bob had to go out for more eggs because the sauce kept separating,” Sue recalls.

The creamy French sauce involves whisking egg yolks and warm lemon juice over a double boiler until emulsified, and thickening the mixture with melted butter at just the right temperature. It’s no small culinary feat, but Sue and Bob persevered.

“It took two trips to the store, but we finally did it,” Sue says.

“The final product was good,” Bob confirms.

Over their 27 years of marriage, the Jobes, who live in Davie have learned to be easygoing about minor setbacks in the kitchen. They, like many South Florida couples, view cooking as a relaxing way to put the brakes on a busy life and spend quality time together. The Jobes like to eat light, especially during the week when Bob will cook soups using the homemade stocks they keep on hand. Heart-healthy olive oil has replaced butter in their kitchen, and fresh herbs are staples for adding flavor.

The couple recently joined a community-supported agriculture (CSA) program that will supply them with a box of local produce once a week during the growing season.

“What they have fresh and ready to harvest every week is what you receive, so you won’t get the same things,” sue says.

Buying through a CSA program not only supports local farms, it adds a sense of adventure to the Jobes’ kitchen enjoyment. “We’re going to get things that we’ve never eaten, so it’s going to be interesting,” Bob says.

While they practice healthy cooking most of the time, the Jobes still like the occasional indulgence. They do not shy away from trying new recipes and techniques despite their experience with that finicky hollandaise sauce.

“We go to a B&B up in Maine where one of the chef’s signature desserts is individual soufflés served with sauce at the table,” says Sue. “We wanted to try that at home, and it was delicious. It turned out really well!”

No one ever said that a decadent Grand Marnier-flavored soufflé was the key to a perfect relationship. But, as many couples are discovering, it certainly can’t hurt to try cooking one – together.